Some people ask me how they can tell if a leader or a manager has high emotional intelligence or not.  My view is we all know already.  Let me explain. Do you consider yourself to be a good boss or a bad boss?  Or better still, if I asked your team if they considered you to be a good boss or a bad boss, what would they say?  Whether we are considered good or bad [...]

OK, I admit it – it’s a dramatic title for a blog; however it is descriptive of my current condition, because earlier this week I had a minor operation to remove a lipoma, a small fatty lump.  It necessitated a general anaesthetic, so I’ve spent a few days since taking it a bit easy.  Which led me to thinking … I wouldn’t have said the lipoma was causing me any anxiety or distress; however having had it removed I [...]

It’s generally well accepted that you should praise people; and that people will perform better if they are regularly praised when they do good things.  The premise is simple: people like being praised, so if you praise them when they do a good job they’ll want to do more good things and thus receive more praise.  Their self-confidence will improve and they’ll be happier.  However, is it that simple?  Or can praising people sometimes be [...]

Earlier this week I ‘appeared’ on the “Just Do It!” show presented by Ali Crook on MarlowFM, a community radio station here in the UK.  Ali’s show provides ideas for listeners to live life to the full and I’d be invited on to talk about some of the major challenges I’ve faced in my own life.  During the conversation we got onto discussing what happens when you’re trying to achieve that great goal you’ve set, but your motivation levels [...]

A seemingly innocuous question you may think.  One we ask each other all the time, simply as part of a greeting.  But what is your response when people ask you?  Imagine in your head now, we’ve just met face-to-face, perhaps shook hands and I say “How are you today?”  What do you say? I’ve been noting people’s responses to this question recently and in my very un-scientific poll the vast majority of people respond with [...]

Back when I was a coder, writing software for a big systems house, one of my assignments took me to Switzerland for a year.  I’d originally learnt to ski by going on the odd school skiing trip; however living in Switzerland gave me lots of opportunity to improve. However my progress soon plateaued when I got to the black runs. Standing there on a steep slope looking down, my natural tendency was to lean back [...]

OK, the title of this blog is purposely a bit provocative, but do I really mean New Year’s resolutions are a waste of time? Well in the vast majority of cases … Yes. Most people who set themselves resolutions at this time of year will frame them in a negative way.  It’ll be things like stop smoking, drink less, or give up eating cakes.  Like with any goal, phrasing the outcome in a negative way [...]

If you’re reading this there is a good chance that the world has not ended today, which is what some say will happen today on the 21st December 2012 according to the Mayan calendar.  Of course some point out the Mayans never predicted what would actually happen when their 5125 year calendar came to an end.  Some say they would have just started again – a new era so to speak. But what if it [...]

There are a lot of techniques out there for building self confidence; however the very first step to take is to stop knocking it down.  Let me explain. One weekend, when I was two, I went outside to play after lunch leaving my Dad to finish his; he’d started eating later having been working outside.  A few minutes later my Mum went outside and saw one of the neighbours, silently, but wildly gesticulating and pointing [...]

Perhaps it’s a symptom of this time of year.  I’ve been hearing lots of people saying things like “It’s a grim day”, “What a grey day”, “It’s a sh%t&y day … again!”  You might think I’ve been talking to desperate people; people at the end of their luck, about to be put onto the streets, searching for their next meal.  But no, these are your everyday people – talking about the weather! They’re the kind of people that [...]